The Trouble with black hair…

First off let me begin this post by saying that I am an avid weave wearer (love myself and I love the ability to change my hair frequently) but I am also an advocate for natural hair. Basically I’m a fan of whatever hairstyle that a black woman wants to wear (exceptions would be Crayola colored weave, and those half permed/ half nappy chicks, girl cut that mess off and start again).
I say that to say this. I previously had NO I idea of the Monopoly that is taking place in the black hair supply industry. Currently Black women make up 10% of the population, 80% of hair product customers and about 5% of the Beauty supply industry owners. That means that we’re being shut out of an industry that essentially caters to out vanity by people of other cultures.

Problems in the Black Community

This Article was linked in the “Black in the Bay” News Letter.
It’s a very interesting perspective on the supposed problems in black America.

Black Women-The Great Divide

I was talking on the phone to one of my best friend, railing on and on about some sort of injustice. She abruptly interrupted me with this question. “Are you a feminist?” I quickly answered “No of course not.” I believe in equality for all people in spite of personal preferences. I believe in a woman’s rights to choose what’s best for her (career, motherhood or both, chivalry or going Dutch etc etc) and yes, I’ve taken a number of college courses and read a bunch of “Feminist writings” (Audre Lourde, Betty Freidan and more) but as a heterosexual. Christian, Black Woman, I don’t feel like a feminist.

A Great Black man-Songs for my Grandpa in Eflat

In all of my blogs about relationships and stuff, I purposely make a distinction between males and “good men.” In the course of me writing and talking to people, I’ve been asked (mainly by males) What is a good man? I really had to think about it, because there is no blanket answer. I’ve every guy I’ve dated was a good guy, but not necessarily a good man. Some guys are good men but just because he’s a good guy doesn’t make him the right good man you me (or you). So what is a good man?

Sex and the Black Church!

Random Couple

With the recent statistics about Young black girls and STDs it seems like sex in the Black community is on everyone’s mind. Last year we all debated the responsibility of rap and hip hop in continuing the objectification of black women. Now everyone’s interested in the black church’s role of lack thereof in sexual education.

Erykah Badu on the cover of Essence!

Check out the Fierce-ness of Ms. Badu on the cover of Essence Magazine’s April issue! Get it girl!

it’s a personal Genocide going on

Sometimes I find myself just sitting in front of my computer and shaking my head in disbelief. Today my co-worker, knowing of my love for MSNBC, asked me if I’d seen the new stats about teenage girls and STDs. I quickly looked on my computer to find that 1 in 4 teen girls has a sexually transmitted disease and the highest prevalence is in Black girls!! What’s going on? I went to high school so you can’t convince me that black girls are more sexually active than their non-black counterparts. Black adult women have the highest rates of aids cases and black teens have a high rate of STDs, particularly HPV (which can cause cervical cancer, sterilization and the blindness in unborn children). Once again as a black woman with a ton of black female friends you cannot convince me that all of these women are more sexually active than non-blacks. This is a pandemic!
Studies show that a large number of black women are contracting Aids from long term heterosexual activity. That means too many women are not protecting themselves from un-safe sex. Ladies, ladies, ladies!
Now this is strictly from my conjecture but it seems to me that the black community has the wrong ideas about sex and sex education. We keep burying our heads in the sand and backing that “Thang” up at the same time. We have parents, schools and churches pretending that everyone is abstinent (many people are indeed abstinent, but that’s not the point), so they don’t even talk about sex unless they are saying “don’t do it.” At the same time the media, celebrities, songs and music is all about sex, making it sound like the best thing you’ve never tried. So like a moth to a flame young people are drawn to sex and a lot of people never learn about safe sex and responsible behavior from a mature or reliable source. And young women in particular feel the burden of being morally responsible for sexual chastity or risk being labeled a name (whore, slut etc) It becomes something that they do on impulse, with out adults knowing so they don’t get in trouble or embarrassed and if you’re afraid of getting in trouble or getting caught would you carry protection?? Would you know how to use a condom? Would you be on birth control?
Many women know about condoms but few know about other forms of female contraception so they leave their sexual health in the hands of the men in their lives. Why ladies? Why would you let anyone else handle the something so important? (No, these are not fool proof but neither are condoms or BC. The only safe sex is no sex)
Please, please, please Get tested for every type of STD, Talk to your daughters about Safe sex! It’s ok that you want them to wait until marriage. Tell them that too, but make sure they know all of the options because one day they may need it (yes, even if they are married). Sisters if you know your man is tipping and you choose to stay with him anyways; you should be the main one using protection. Get off the “share a man” plan! We love to blame the “down- low” brothas, but lets be honest, a whole lot of women know that they have cheating straight men in their lives and they carry just as much disease. yet they continue to let the fear of being alone put them at risk sexually. Get a grip ladies!! Take control of you sexual health! Please don’t let another static like this come out again!

It’s your Health!

Ain’t I a Woman?

Well it’s Women’s History Month but for Black women the issues of race and negative imagery keeps popping up and over shadowing what should be a celebration of female achievement for everyone.

It was the Best of times, It was the Worst of times…

*Disclaimer- Since I failed to do so the last time I will warn you that this is not targeted towards anyone particulary any men that I know or that are in my life. The men I know are wonderful and would never be gulity of such foolishness.

According to the Urban League’s State of Black America Report, Black Women are facing both the best and worst times in our history. Condi’s historically high position in the current presidential administration, Michelle Obama being hailed as the new “Jackie Kennedy O.” and Oprah just being Oprah, just a few examples of modern black female achievement. Business owned by black women increased by 147% in the last ten years and sistas are working more than brothas nationwide. And yet we are suffering.