As most of you know there was a 5.2 earthquake in Illinois of all places. People all the way in Niceville Fl, felt a tremor, but it seems that there was no major injuries and only minor damage, Thank the Lord! My heart is with the people affected by the quake. I pray that all is well.
Now I want to prepare you, no not just people in the quake but anyone who’s going to be around an old person, a conspiracy theorist, or a person with what I call “conversational paranoia,” particularly the religious type. It is highly strange for an earthquake to take place in Illinois, so I’m going to warn you now, that people are going to asking where that “came” from. IF you plan on going to the hair salon, barbershop, Local Park or anywhere else that black folks like to get together and “chew the fat” be prepared to talk about who really caused this act of nature…Oprah. Read the rest of this entry
Oprah’s always had a lot of humanistic stuff going on but apparently her new podcasts are taking it to a whole new crazy level. her own religion Read the rest of this entry
*Disclaimer- Since I failed to do so the last time I will warn you that this is not targeted towards anyone particulary any men that I know or that are in my life. The men I know are wonderful and would never be gulity of such foolishness.
According to the Urban League’s State of Black America Report, Black Women are facing both the best and worst times in our history. Condi’s historically high position in the current presidential administration, Michelle Obama being hailed as the new “Jackie Kennedy O.” and Oprah just being Oprah, just a few examples of modern black female achievement. Business owned by black women increased by 147% in the last ten years and sistas are working more than brothas nationwide. And yet we are suffering. Read the rest of this entry
This letter was featured on the Steve Harvey Morning show today. A friend of mine was so outraged that she asked me to post it to see what other people think about it. Is this the way men think about fidelity? Speak on it!!
DEAR STEVE,
WHATS UP MAN IM WRITING IN TODAY TO GET ANOTHER MALE PERSPECTIVE ON A SITUATION. I’VE BEEN MARRIED NOW FOR 11 YEARS AND I’VE CHEATED ON MY WIFE BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED, AND AFTER WE GOT MARRIED. WELL RECENTLY I’VE DECIDED TO STOP WITH ALL THE LIES AND CHEATING BECAUSE I’VE FATHERED 4 KIDS DURING MY MARRIAGE BY OTHER WOMEN, SO I DECIDED TO CONFESS MY SINS TO MY WIFE AND REPENT. WELL AFTER I DID SHE BROKE DOWN AND TOLD ME THAT SHE WANTED A DIVORCE, I DID THE USUAL BEGGING AND APOLOGIZING TO GET HER TO STAY, I EVEN PROMISED THAT WE CAN GO TO MARRIAGE COUNSELING TOGETHER. WELL I SLIPPED AGAIN BUT ONLY ONCE AND THAT WAS A WHILE AGO AND I HAVE BEEN FAITHFUL EVER SINCE, HOWEVER A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO MY WIFE OF 11 YEARS CAME TO ME AND TOLD ME THAT SHE’S PREGNANT, NOW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT IF THE CHILD WAS MINE BUT I KNOW ITS NOT BECAUSE SHE REFUSED TO SLEEP WITH ME EVER SINCE I TOLD HER ABOUT THE CHEATING SO WHEN SHE CAME TO ME AND TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT BY ANOTHER MAN I CLICKED. I GOT SO ENRAGED THAT I THREW HER AND ALL OF HER CLOTHES OUT, I TOLD HER I WILL NOT TAKE CARE OF ANOTHER MANS CHILD AND SINCE SHE HAD THE NERVE TO NOT ONLY CHEAT ON ME BUT TO DO IT WITH NO PROTECTION THEN SHE NEEDS TO GO AND BE WITH HIM!!! NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG YES I DID DO THE EXACT SAME THING MORE THAN ONCE HOWEVER SHE DON’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT MY OUTSIDE KIDS THAT I FATHERED SO SHE CAN’T EVEN BRING THAT UP. BESIDES ITS DIFFERENT FOR A MAN TO CHEAT THAN A WOMAN, SHE WAS SUPPOSE TO BE MY WIFE AND BE MY WIFE AND BE FAITHFUL TO ME AND ME ONLY. I SUSPECTED HER OF CHEATING THOUGH BECAUSE WE WAS A COUPLE THAT HAD TO HAVE SEX AT LEAST 5 TIMES A WEEK AND AFTER I CONFESSED SHE DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE. ANYWAY STEVE MAN PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK I SHOULD DO BECAUSE AFTER I TOLD MY MOMMA WHAT HAPPENED SHE CURSED ME OUT AND TOLD ME THAT IM NO SON OF HERS, BUT I EXPECTED THAT REACTION FROM A WOMAN, SO STEVE MAN-TO-MAN WHAT DO YOU THINK? AM I WRONG? BESIDES BACK IN THE DAY MEN USE TO HAVE 10 AND 15 DIFFERENT WIFES AND I SAID I WAS SORRY!
Well what do you think? is there a double standard when it comes to fidelity? is it justified??
Black History month is almost over and soon the programs, forums, discussion groups and special events will pretty much be over until next year’s Martin Luther King Day. This month was filled with deep probing discussions about the state of black life in America. We gathered in our classrooms, forums, churches, lodges, and fraternity or sorority houses.We piled into university lecture halls, and conference centers, and banquet dinning rooms to talk about African Americans and economics, class, gender, and health care and we asked which presidential candidate would really do what’s best for the community. Then we combine all of our degrees, and doctorates, professional experience and common sense and ask, “What’s wrong with the rest of the Negroes?” During the rest of the year, we read “Losing the Race”, Tavis Smiley’s “Covent with black America” and Bill Cosby’s “Come on People” and we continue to question what’s wrong with the rest of the Negroes? Why are our kids doing so poorly in school? Why are so many of our men put in prison? Why are those people in the mall so crude? Why don’t our people listen to the history, statistics, and change? WHY?Without fail the conversations turn to the same issues, closing the economic disparity gap, black on black crime, the state of young black men, single mothers, and the impact of negative images on young black people. I saw it at local events that I attended and on Tavis Smiley’s “State of the Black Union.” Almost every conversation touches on what’s wrong with our society and how the information should be shared with everyone so that we can grow and improve the overall status of African Americans. We all exchange ideas and cheer each other on ad we inform ourselves on the best way to empower ourselves. We all leave or turn off our TV’s feeling energized.And yet nothing really changes maybe it’s because one very important element is usually missing when we discuss the plight of poor, young, or uneducated blacks: poor black people, young black people or uneducated black people. I have heard some really great speeches of inspiration for young people and in a room where only five people were younger than 30. I’ve seen some really great presentations about the importance of education for a group of college educated individuals, and opinion changing arguments on why/how the media’s influence is negatively affecting our kids in a room with no actual kids in sight. I know, I know what you’re thinking. “State of the Black Union” was aired in TV they could watch it just as well as I did”, “Books are free at the library why don’t they go read them?” That discussion forum was advertised in the public, everyone knew about it” and so we blame. It’s there fault that we can’t all progress.Come on! How many people watch Cspan on a Saturday morning? Wouldn’t more young people have been reached if it had aired on “BET”?Come On People and the ”Covenant” had messages that were targeted towards young and/or poor blacks. But it’s a well known fact that many of our children in poorer neighborhoods are not reading at the right grade level. When a child doesn’t read well they stop reading all together and many times poor readers raise more poor readers. And yes many educational events are advertised, but how comfortable or appealing would an event be to you if it were held in a private organizations’ house? Would you want to come to an event that’s being held at a university if you don’t feel educated?We cannot continue to keep our rousing discussions in arenas that are only appealing the people that are like us. We have to learn to reach people all people where they are. Stop expecting them (depending on who you they are) to come to you! So many of us like to boast about being a part of DuBois’ “Talented Tenth” but we forget one very important part of DuBois theory. It’s the job of the “tenth” to pull up the other 90%. It’s time to take these messages of empowerment, history and change to the streets! Be the change you wish to see in your communities. Let’s make a plan of action to go out and positively affect our community. Jump out of your ivory towers and infest the hood with good! What should we do to better reach the community? Send me your ideas! Happy Black History Month!
I have a problem…I was asked to write a note/blog about the horrific shootings at Northern Illinois University, but I’m not exactly sure of what to say…
You see, sadly I’m apart of the school shooting generation. The age group that knew that bullying could lead to more than a fist fight at the bus stop. There have been school shootings for more many years: Often with one or two people dead, random gang violence that spilled into the school yard, or a random protest gone wrong. But then came Columbine: A violent, senseless day of mass hysteria. The nation was shocked not only because of the tragic loss of life (23 dead) but also because of how much detail went to into the planning of it all. Systematically deciding where to go, what questions to ask, which weapons to use and ultimately who to kill.
I was in 7 grade when Columbine took place and I remember the fear and the warnings that were placed in the hearts and minds of students around the nation; “be fully aware of your surroundings”, “never assume someone is joking if they mention having a weapon”, “be nice and stop bullying other kids or they may bring a gun and kill you.” These are the mental tools they equipped us with. We heard the media tell us to “watch out for the strange kids,” “the kids that loved violent TV shows and video games,” “watch out for the outcasts” etc. Pretty soon all of our schools began to beef up the amount counselors and take all threats seriously, and as we stood in the parking lot for the bomb threat in one semester, sweating in the heat of the sun and singing Nelly’s “It’s Getting Hot in Here” at least we felt safe. And for a while it seemed like we were.
There was little nationwide coverage of school shootings and we were back to the isolated “one to three” dead type of stuff, you know a normal shooting. But last year a seemingly “normal shooting” erupted into a killing spree that spread across Virginia Tech, ripping through seemingly peaceful campus like a terrorist missile. The “Columbine Generation” had gone to college. Another massive loss of life, another planned killing spree, this time complete with a homemade videotaped manifesto. The killer fit the description; quiet, angry, violence loving, loner with a history of mental illness and disturbing behavior. We talked about it in all of my classes the next day. We asked “What could be done to keep us safe in case of a similar attack at USF?” One of my professors even had us come up with a safety plan (two plans actually one in case the attacker was in the room and another in case the attacker was outside of the room).
So there we were again, this time as adults, once again following the warnings; “be fully aware of your surroundings”, “never assume someone is joking if they mention having a weapon”. These are the mental tools they equipped us with. We heard the media tell us to “watch out for the strange kids,” “the kids that loved violent TV shows and video games,” “watch out for the outcasts” etc. Only this time we were told to sign up for university “safety alert” text messages, and Facebook notifications. I also made it a point to sit near the doors of certain classrooms just in case I needed to run. So the Universities were boosting security, there were protests for more police on campus and we believed that we’d figured out the profile of the typical school shooter. We knew the signs, we’d heed the warnings and by the end of Spring Semester we all felt safe again.
But last week’s shootings at NIU have once again shattered our sense of safety. When I first heard about it, I fully expected this guy to fit the “School Shooter” description, and in some ways he did. He had a new interest in guns and disturbing tattoos, a history of mental issues and he’d stopped taking his meds but other than that he led a pretty normal life. He had a girlfriend (whom he sent a “goodbye letter” to on V-Day”), good grades, award winning and led two student organizations. His former professors claim they “enjoyed” having him in class. He wasn’t even a student at the school anymore having transferred to a more “prestigious” nearby University. The Firearms he used were his; he’d purchased them legally in Illinois a state with strict gun policy. By most accounts the warning signs were there. His personality hadn’t changed and according to the girlfriend, he stopped taking the meds because they “made him feel like a zombie.”
So what to do? Do we ban everyone with a mental or emotional issue from going to high school or college? A move this drastic would be outrageous and only serve to worsen the stigma involved with getting help for mental illness. As a society we should encourage people to seek as much help as humanly possible when struggling mentally or emotionally. Do we get tougher gun restrictions? I’m sure this is something that people are going to argue with me about, but that’s not the answer either. Statistics prove that when gun laws get tough crime goes up making the average sane person more susceptible to violence. Why? because a person that’s willing to break the law in any way is willing to have a gun illegally. So why/ would a person who is bold enough to kill a group of strangers and then kill himself, be stopped by a rinky-dink gun law? So what is there to do in order to stop shooting like this from happening? I still don’t know. All I can do is pray. Pray for the victims’ families, the killer’s family and the students. Pray for students and employees and of any place that may be vulnerable to such an attack. And pray for everyone’s safety and mental health so that things like this can become a thing of the past.
Happy Valentines Day folks!!! For many people, today is a special day, filled with Candlelit dinners, roses sent to the job and romantic nights. For me it means eating too much candy at your office V-day party and wishing that your Valentine wasn’t so far away ;-). But for a number of people, women in particular, Valentine’s Days are something to be hated.Hated because it’s another day in which single people are told that being single is a bad thing: told that if you’re alone then something is wrong with you. A Married co-worker of mine told me that V-day is SAD: Singles Awareness Day and it seems like there’s no other day in which people are more aware of their singleness.
So this week as I’ve been searching for articles and interesting tidbits for the Upcoming official launch of the Brown Sugar Pages (Feb 2 I’ve notice ton of Valentines Day Articles. One thing that caught my eye was this article about finding your “Soul mate.” the article was right next to another piece about surviving “Valentines Day Alone.” Soul mates are a beautiful concept, the idea that you can connect with someone so deeply that your souls are matched. It’s an idea that many people, particularly women believe in whole-heartedly. I do too, just not in the traditional sense.
There was an episode of “Sex and the City” in which the women were sitting at a table of a swanky restaurant; bemoaning their apparent lack of relationships and pondering the idea that they may never find theirs. Then “Charlotte” says, “Maybe we could be each other’s soul mates. And men could be these great nice guys to have fun with.” That’s a new concept. Many of us search for a soul mate in romantic relationships, but by doing that we are liming ourselves and the people in our lives. Find your Soul Mate in Jesus and your relationship with God. Your soul mate could be the friends the laugh at jokes that no one get but you. Your soul mate could be the beautiful baby that came from your romantic relationship. All of those are platonic relationships but they can be greatly fulfilling. Fill up the space on the “soul mate train” with the people that love you and connect with you on a non-romantic plane, the people that choose to love you even though you’re broke and not sleeping with them. Spend your single Valentines Day’s showing love to all of them.
So yes today is SAD and singles should be aware. Be Aware of the blessings in your life, the strength that you have, the loving people in your life. Be aware of how fabulous you are and that there’s no point in settling for some dead rosés and dinner at the Red Lobster. Be aware of the fact that good things come to those who wait. It’s ok to wait for love and let you romantic relationships blossom into “great love.” And if you haven’t found your “great love” yet that’s ok, you’ll already have your soul mate.
Remember when Oprah used to do those “Remembering Your Spirit “segments? She’d sit down and give you some sort of sappy tip to help you “Live Your Best Life *”. I suppose this note is a “remembering your spirit” kind of thing.
For the last 5 months or so I’ve been engaged in experiment of sorts. A while back, I was sitting down reflecting on the things that I wished were different in my life, my family, my school and at the time my love life and I was beginning to fall back into a state a depression. But somehow it hit me like a ton of bricks, “how can you complain about what God hasn’t given you, when you’re not thankful for what you’ve already gotten?” No smart parent keeps giving things to an ungrateful kid. And So I decided that day to learn to be thankful for the very small things in life, the blessings that get overlooked in my day to day life. I’ve begun to see good parking as a blessing, a cute shirt on sale is a blessing, and hanging out with friends is a blessing. Because if you think about it there are tons of people who don’t have a car to park, money to buy any shirts much less one on sale or the great friends that I have to hang out with. As I’ve begun to do this. I’ve realized that my “Thank-you list” gets longer and longer every day, because it’s getting easier and easier to spot God’s goodness in my life and the lives of others.
Believe it or not I have seen a major change in my life overall. No not in a “name it, claim it” kind of way. I still don’t have a record deal or a 6 figure job; I still don’t have the town house of my dreams or anything like that. The change has been in my outlook towards life. Things aren’t perfect but find joy in knowing that God has taken care of you this much, so why would He let you down now. Focus on the blessings of life and be thankful for everything that you have it will improve your life. I know this was a deeply personal note but I felt the need to share this, hopefully it will help someone.* I’m not sure that Oprah copy righted the Phrase “live your best life” But I’m not taking any chances with the Big O!
If you have some news, a tip or some gossip that you think should be on the Brown Sugar Pages, please send in an e-mail. if your info is used you will receive credit (unless you ask to be anonymous of course)
You want to know about me??? Well I sing, often and I've been told I do it well, I love God, Family, friends (I love ya'll) and stillettos, quirky people, black history and MAC makeup, church, B.Scott youtube clips, great men, carnival food, babies, good weave and good drinks. I find joy in the most random things and l love really good comedians. I love language and questioning why we say what we say. I consider myself to be a critical consumer of the media and that's what led me to start this blog. I love to joke around and dance (yes even in church). If they were paying alot more I might consider being a teacher, but kids shoot now days so... never mind. overall I'm a lady, trying to be blessed so that I can bless others. that's a little bit about me. Enjoy my Blog!!
I’ve notice ton of Valentines Day Articles. One thing that caught my eye was this article about finding your “Soul mate.” the article was right next to another piece about surviving “Valentines Day Alone.” Soul mates are a beautiful concept, the idea that you can connect with someone so deeply that your souls are matched. It’s an idea that many people, particularly women believe in whole-heartedly. I do too, just not in the traditional sense.
Shannon the Tampa Diva
mrkeyz
