Hey, hey Ladies and gents, as you can tell from the time of my last post I’ve been pretty M.I.A. Immediately after the election, I caught a rough cold and it slowed me down considerably, but more than that I have been struggling, spiritually and emotionally. I’ve been struggling with what to do, and how to do it, in all areas of my life. Most importantly I’d been asking “why aren’t things going “right?”
It’s become a depressing thing. As a Christian, I found myself growing frustrated, and spiritually exhausted.
Earlier this week I was feeling really low, down, depressed and just tired of having to be “deep” about my thoughts. I was praying but feeling tired and alone in everyway so much so that I was seriously thinking of taking a break from Church leadership (not from going to Church, but from active ministry)
On Wednesday, I was talking to my friend/co-worker/ Sister in Christ, about this. I told her I was super stressed out, that I felt like God is testing me and I’m failing and I told her that I was thinking about taking a break from leadership. She told me that she’d pray about it and that sometimes God uses struggle get us closer to Him and to get us to actively listen for Him.
I jokingly said “I always think about people who say, they audibly ‘hear God’ and that something like that would frighten me, but I’m so tired that if the Lord could send me a text, or send me a message and if that could save me the drama of the struggle, I might get over being scared.”
She chuckled and called me silly and we ended our chat, and I felt better about things, and carried on with my day. I went to Facebook and decided to change my status to something comical. “Shannon is thinking you should be buying her presents by now” seemed to do the trick. It posted and typed up a document for work. When I returned to my browser, the status I had entered on Facebook, was not there. A status that I did not write was now on my facebook. It said: “Shannon is singing, “He’s got a blessing, with my name on it!!!”
I DID NOT WRITE THIS!! it just appeared on my Facebook page. No one hacked into my account, no one came to my desk and wrote this. Those of you who read my blog or know me and see me on FB, know that when I write things in a rush, punctuation, can be lost. There’s NO way I would have written something with perfect puntuation in a Facebook status. I just know myself. Also, the significance is not only what I’d said to my co-worker but also that we sing a song called “God’s Got a blessing, with your name on it” and I’d sang it JUST this past Sunday morning at church. I got really scared!!
Fearing that I was hallucinating and seeing things, I immediately told my other co-worker to look on her Facebook and read my status. She told me that she saw the “presents” status up, I asked her to come over to my desk and tell me what she saw, she read aloud, “”Shannon is singing, “He’s got a blessing, with my name on it!!!”. I was soo glad that she could see it because I seriously would have driven myself to a mental hospital.
Once we resolved that I wasn’t seeing things, we both went over the possibilities, “could I have been hacked?”, ” is someone at my church spreading an e-virus?” etc, but there was no explanation for it whatsoever! The new quote with the song in it, was not in my mini-feed and the only time people saw it was when they were looking at my computer with me, but when they logged there account, my status appeared to be empty. I logged in and logged out repeatedly, closed and re-opened my browser and it was still there and no matter how many times my co-workers did the same they could not see it, unless they were looking at my PC.
After my third paniky call to my mother, I told her to turn on my home computer and log onto my FB account. She did and kept asking me what I was talking about, because the status was blank. Mind you, we were both looking at the same pages of the same account at the same time, and I was seeing one thing while she saw nothing. At the end of the day, I could only reach one conclusion and that was that the Lord chose to answer my prayer. I do have a blessing (or two) with my name on it,(one of them actually came that day), but I have to continue to seek Him and to come to Him for encouragement when I’m weary. Sometimes it’s HARD being a Christian, having faith when things seem hopeless, working hard when it seems the world it “partying it up and having all the fun” it can be a challenge. but the Lord TRULY knocked it out of the park for me. He didn’t send some sort of cryptic, hidden message, He came to me where I was and it filled my spirit. I pray that what has happened to me can be a light of hope for one of you.
p.s-after I got done being scared, I kept thinking about how cool it is that the Lord used technology, and the internet. Love it!! Has anything like this ever happened to you???